Raising Warriors a Culture Apart (Part 3: Modeling Love in Your Marriage)

What would it take to raise a modern-day hero? I don’t mean one with superpowers like Wonder Woman or Superman. … Or do I? Because every one of us who has chosen Christ has within us the greatest power of all (Philippians 4:13):

LOVE. 1 John 4:8, 16.

Love casts out fear (1 John 4:18), overcomes every hardship (Romans 8:28-39), and absolutely ruins our enemies (Romans 12:9-21). No matter what arrows Satan shoots at you, if you stand in Love’s power, you will see victory. Psalm 44:3.

So, it makes sense that if we’re going to raise up these little warriors to become more than conquerors, love is what we need to model loudly and clearly before our children every day.

Moms often have a special measure of God’s superpower to serve. We’re usually pretty good at sacrificially staying up all night with that crying baby, and washing that dirty laundry even if no one thanks us and it ends up all muddy again by evening. We may complain and lose our patience in the process, but we know it has to be done, because that little life depends on us.

But how are we doing with loving our husbands? Because those little warriors are watching us. And husbands, how are you doing with loving your wives?


Choose to love, even when your spouse is unlovely, to bless, even when you’re persecuted. You can’t control how others treat you, but you can choose to let Love control your response.

I was thinking about that this week, as I mentored a group of moms of small children; a couple of them have husbands that can be a bit hard to love. We challenged each other to ask the Lord each morning, “What can I do to bless my husband today?” Then step out in obedience to what God brings to mind. (Whatever God says will agree with His Word and His heart of love. Visit MoreThanAConquerorBooks.com for a free guide to knowing God’s voice.)

Of course, wouldn’t you know that I got sick immediately.

I find God often loves to show how strong He is when I am weak, because I know I can’t do it in my own strength, so I have to surrender completely to Him and depend on His power to empower me. Then He miraculously does what I could never have done on my own. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

Even now, I’m relying on His power to write this, as I’m still achy, feverish, muddle-headed, and lying down with this flu thing I have…. So, as you can imagine, having the energy to physically do the things God has asked me to do each day of this challenge has cost me. Because my body just wants to lie in bed and groan. But each day, He gives me the spurt of energy to do that special thing to bless my husband, and I’m in awe of this One I love, because He’s just … so … purposeful in the way He teaches us and molds us to be like Him.

You see, burnout happens when you’re doing more than God has asked you to, or you’re doing it in your own power. But when He is the One Whose love and power flow through you to love those around you, it feels effortless because of the joy and peace we feel as His Spirit surges through us when we obey. He accomplishes what we never could have done on our own. 

And it doesn’t matter how the other person responds. That’s not what we fix our eyes on. Just love. Period. In fact, when others respond adversely, that demonstration our children see in us as we love in the face of ungratefulness or attacks is all the louder. Matthew 5:44. 

So purpose to love. At all times in all ways. 

Husbands, I dare you this year, in 2018, to ask the Lord each morning when you wake up, “How can I bless my wife today?” and then step out in Love’s power to do that.

If you’d like some help in hearing God’s voice, living in His power, responding in love, and influencing your children and others to do the same, try the devotional Bible studies, Dare to Become a Kingdom Culture Leader, Volumes One and Two; and Dare to Be a Mighty Warrior. 

Wives, I challenge you in 2018, to daily lay down your past habits of responding to your husband out of judgment, fear, bitterness, self-defense, neediness, distrust … and ask the Lord to transform you.

For daily surrender to the Lord’s plans and walking in His power every moment, letting Him set you free from the things that hold you back, try the 2018 Delight to Be a Woman of Wonder Power Planner and Delight to Be a Woman of Wonder devotional Bible study.

Model Matthew 22:37-40 in your marriage in front of your kids, so they will know what true love looks like and rise up to conquer every conflict through the power of God’s perfect love.